Los Angeles, California
Prior to this, my writing has been focused on illustrating food experiences that I enjoy outside of my home. Yet, so many meals occur across tables in our home. Not only is this because of the necessity of nourishing ourselves regularly, but so often in order to also nourish our relationships with others. The ambiance can be anything from a formal gathering to sitting around casually in comfortable clothing. The particular evening I'll highlight was at my apartment with six ladies confidently embracing acceptance of their authentic and natural selves, evidenced by wearing yoga pants and sweatshirts. Each person came bearing lovely cheese offerings to pair with bottles of wine and other snacks.
With no structure provided, everyone naturally gathered around the collected contributions and chatter was ceaseless amongst ladies that had formerly not all known one another. If nothing else, conversation could always return to what was being consumed. We talked about how things tasted, where it came from, what it reminded us of, and encouraged others to partake in a bite that we had enjoyed. My personal favorite of the evening was the Purple Haze Cypress Grove Chèvre lavender goat milk cheese. It was a creamy, floral, and mildly tangy with a gentle, yet still contrasting flavor, for my tongue that stood out against the crackers, berries, and wine. Usually, I enjoy textured cheese with crystalized salt when I am drinking red wine, but we did not have a cheese similar to that on the table nor something more intense and bold, such as a stilton.
I return from the digression on cheese back to the commonality created by a shared table. Partaking in a meal together allows for sharing an experience and then a connection can be formed, even if it be with someone who began as a stranger. Connections can be made with someone who we may otherwise have very little in common. Sometimes the lack of commonalities actually turns out to be more of an assumption that truth. This idea made me wonder, what if we sought out this connection? What if we looked for those with whom we believe we have less in common? Could creating a space to share food be an avenue through which to reduce barriers and prejudice?
A familiar gripe I have heard repeatedly in recent months is the observation that there is not tolerance observed consistently in our country for those who present in one way or another as being different. If that is the case, then why not take steps to find commonalities rather than differences? I find myself often in impromptu discussion wherever I go. It might be with a cashier, a waitress, or a fellow diner. This occurs because I am open to the conversation. I may or may not initiate the discussion, but I expand on it rather than cutting it short or appearing dismissive or preoccupied. I give my attention. It takes only a moment to share a laugh or a complaint and then we have a moment of understanding each other where one had not existed before. We connect. We share a moment of humanity. One of the biggest lessons I have acquired because of these moments is to not judge someone by how they appear. I believe this has resulted in reducing my biases and leaving me with a more open mind to accept someone else. I also have come to believe that different does not necessarily mean wrong. It also does not mean that I need ascribe to the other person's beliefs. However, I am open to respectfully listening what they have to say and looking to appreciate that there is a reason why they act and feel as they do. Just as I may want someone to appreciate and understand my perspectives. How can I expect someone to do this for me if I do not do it for others? If I wish someone else to behave in a manner that I can respect, then should I not also hold myself to this same standard? Let us challenge ourselves to be the change that we wish to see in the world. Maybe this can begin across a shared table. In summary, perhaps we could each consider being open to finding similarities rather than focusing on our differences. Of course, I suggest this endeavor be embarked upon while enjoying something tasty! Cheers!
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